This is a snapshot of where you are in the four phases of recovery. Nobody scores “perfectly” — this just helps understand what support might help you next.
The lower your scores the MORE you are affected by the divorce in each phase.
The higher the score the LESS you are affected by the divorce.
Thinking: How much your mind is still processing the relationship
Feelings: How much grief and anger you have (averaged)
Identity: How you treat yourself when you are alone and with others
Relationships: How ready you are to date again.
These aren’t judgments — they’re snapshots. Here’s what each area often means in everyday life.
Everyone’s situation is different. Use this quick guide to find the kind of support that fits your needs, your budget, and your schedule.
Choose what you need and what fits your life in steps 1 and 2 above to see suggestions here.
Free support to help you get oriented and feel a little less alone.
Emotional First Aid Course
Short, practical tools to help calm grief, anger, and overwhelm when things spike.
Self-Test Results & Email Guidance
Your emotional recovery self-test plus a simple explanation of where you are in the process.
Community Forum & Monthly Support Group
A quiet online space and a monthly live call where you can listen, learn, and share when you’re ready.
For many people, this is enough for now. You’re always welcome to stay at this level as long as you need.
I think I might want a bit more guidance or structure →
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More guidance and structure using proven information tools in a large group format
Phoenix Academy Course
Guided lessons and exercises to help you move through the toughest emotional phases with more support.
The Rebuild + Digital Workbook-Style Exercises (Clarity)
Inside Phoenix, you’ll get teaching and practical exercises that walk you step-by-step through the RIFT process.
Weekly Support Group & Forum Access (Community)
Stay connected with others while you work the material, so you’re not going through it alone.
Some people stay with Phoenix and the Support Group for a long time. Others eventually decide they want the small group, highly interactive environment of the 10-week Workshop.
I think I might need the deepest live support →
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Our deepest level of group support with live teaching, structure, and a small community walking beside yyou.
Live Weekly Classes & In-Class Emotional Work
10 weeks of live teaching, exercises, and support as you move through grief, anger, identity, and rebuilding.
Bruce Fisher’s Book & Printed Workbook
The classic Rebuilding roadmap plus a printed workbook that puts the entire process into a clear, structured path.
Weekly Live Meetings & Calling Circle
Small-group conversations and a calling circle where you stay connected with a handful of people who truly understand
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Rebuilders is based on more than 40 years of work helping people rebuild after divorce and relationship breakups. The original Rebuilders program was created by Dr. Bruce Fisher, a divorce therapist and author who realized that traditional therapy often wasn’t enough on its own.
Since then, the program has evolved and expanded, but the heart remains the same:
People heal best in community, not in isolation.
Recovery isn’t just about “moving on” — it’s about rebuilding your identity, your confidence, and your ability to love again.
You deserve tools, structure, and support that actually match what you’re going through.
Today, our team of facilitators and coaches continues that work through live groups, online programs, and resources designed specifically for the emotional impact of divorce.
Frequently Asked Questions
Not at all. Low scores usually reflect how much you’ve been carrying — not who you are as a person. Most people who take this self-test are in the middle of something painful and confusing. This is simply a snapshot that helps you understand where you are, not a label or a judgment.
Yes. Healing after a relationship ends is rarely linear. It often takes longer than people expect, especially when the breakup was unwanted, complicated, or tied to years of shared life. You’re not behind — you’re in the middle of a process that many people go through.
No. Everything on this page is here to give you clarity and support, whether you choose to work with us or not. Many people start with free resources and only explore programs later when they feel ready.
Foundations gives you immediate relief and a sense of direction.
Phoenix helps you build real momentum and understand yourself on a deeper level.
The Workshop is a guided, step-by-step rebuilding process with a live community.
Each level is simply a different layer of support — you choose what fits your needs right now.
No. Rebuilders is not therapy and doesn’t replace working with a therapist. But it is a structured, research-based emotional recovery program created specifically for people navigating the end of a relationship. Many therapists refer their clients to us because we fill a gap that traditional therapy doesn’t always cover.
That’s completely okay. Most people begin by reading their results, exploring the free tools, or sitting with the insights for a bit. There’s no pressure. When you are ready, the options will still be here.
Almost everyone feels that way at first. Shame shows up a lot during divorce or separation. But the truth is: your scores don’t say anything about your worth or your strength. They reflect exhaustion, heartbreak, and the weight of trying to hold it all together — which is incredibly human.
A simple rule of thumb:
If you need immediate relief, start with the Foundations tools.
If you want steady progress and a clear path forward, Phoenix is typically the best fit.
If you want comprehensive change and a community walking with you, the Workshop is the most supportive environment.
There’s no wrong choice — each meets a different level of need.
You’re not alone. Many people begin with Phoenix because it’s more affordable and still gives them structure, insight, and support. You can always step into the Workshop later, when life and finances settle.
Take a breath and start small.
Most people begin with the free Emotional First Aid tools or the Free Community Forum.
Small steps count. You don’t have to decide anything big today.

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