Hi , here is your Divorce Recovery Scorecard.

Understanding your Divorce Recovery Scorecard

This is a snapshot of where you are in the four phases of recovery. Nobody scores “perfectly” — this just helps understand what support might help you next.

The lower your scores the MORE you are affected by the divorce in each phase.

The higher the score the LESS you are affected by the divorce.

Thinking: How much your mind is still processing the relationship

Feelings: How much grief and anger you have (averaged)

Identity: How you treat yourself when you are alone and with others

Relationships: How ready you are to date again.

Our thoughts about your situation

It looks like safety and support matter most right now.

Your answers suggest you may be in a place where immediate support matters more than tips or information. If you feel like you might hurt yourself, or you’re not sure you can stay safe, please reach out for help right now.

If you need support right now
  • US: Call/Text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline)
  • Canada: Call/Text 988
  • UK & ROI: Samaritans 116 123
  • Australia: Lifeline 13 11 14
  • Elsewhere: Use your local emergency number or go to the nearest ER.

If you’re not in immediate danger but you feel overwhelmed, it still counts. Your pain is real, and it’s okay to ask for help.

It looks like you’re emotionally overloaded right now.

When people are “flooded,” it doesn’t mean they’re broken. It means your system is running hot: thoughts racing, emotions spiking, and daily life taking a lot of effort.

The most important goal right now isn’t to figure everything out. It’s to stabilize: lower the overwhelm, get grounded, and take one doable step at a time.

If you’ve been telling yourself “I should be handling this better,” please hear this: what you’re feeling is a normal response to a major loss.

It looks like you’re carrying a lot — and it’s been heavy.

This is the kind of pain that can feel personal and isolating, even when you’re surrounded by people. It often shows up as deep sadness, anger that won’t shut off, a stuck loop of “how did this happen,” or a sense of numbness.

People in this place usually aren’t just looking for information — they’re looking for relief, clarity, and a way to stop feeling like they’re drowning.

Nothing about this means you’re failing. It means you’re human, and you’re in the thick of something hard.

It looks like you’re hurting — and also ready to move forward.

Your results suggest a few areas where the pain is still active, and you’re aware of it (which is huge). This is often the stage where people are tired of coping and start wanting real change: better days, more steadiness, more confidence, and fewer emotional setbacks.

If it feels like “I’m doing okay… until I’m not,” that’s common here. You’re not going backwards — you’re seeing what still needs support.

The goal isn’t perfection. It’s progress you can feel in your body and your day-to-day life.

It looks like you’re functioning, but not free.

This is a very common place to land after a relationship ends. You might be getting through the day, showing up for work or family, and still feel a quiet heaviness underneath it all.

People here often wonder, “Is this just my new normal?” It doesn’t have to be. These scores usually improve when you stop trying to muscle through alone and start using the right supports consistently.

You don’t have to hit rock bottom to deserve help.

It looks like you’re doing “pretty well,” but you’re still carrying important layers underneath.

Many people in this segment are thoughtful and high-functioning, but still want help with the deeper pieces: trust, identity after the relationship, and how to move forward without repeating old patterns.

You’re not overreacting. You’re paying attention — and that’s a strength.

It looks like you’ve rebuilt a strong foundation.

“Thriving” doesn’t mean life is perfect. It usually means you can feel hard feelings without getting swallowed by them, you trust yourself more, and your day-to-day life is regaining momentum.

If anything still stings, that’s normal. Healing isn’t a straight line — but you have real evidence here that you’re moving in a healthy direction.

It looks like we’re missing a piece of the picture.

We couldn’t confidently place you into a clear segment from the data we received. That doesn’t mean your experience is unclear — it just means the information we received was incomplete.

If you’re open to it, add a sentence or two about what’s been hardest lately, and we can respond with something more specific.

It looks like you’re carrying a mix of emotions right now — and that makes sense.

What you’re experiencing is a normal response to a major life change. You’re not alone in this, and you don’t have to do it perfectly to get better.

Your Scores Explained

These aren’t judgments — they’re snapshots. Here’s what each area often means in everyday life.

The Pathfinder experience

Choose What You Need Most Right Now

Everyone’s situation is different. Use this quick guide to find the kind of support that fits your needs, your budget, and your schedule.

Step 1 · What do you want most right now?
Step 2 · What fits your life right now?
Step 3 · Here are some options that might fit

Choose what you need and what fits your life in steps 1 and 2 above to see suggestions here.

Start Where You Are, Then Go Further When It Feels Right

Because you completed the self-test, you’re already on the Foundations path. Many people begin there. If, after looking it over, you feel like you’d like more structure or support, you can explore Phoenix Academy and, if needed, the 10-week Workshop.

Foundations Program

Free support to help you get oriented and feel a little less alone.

Almost everyone starts here. These are gentle, low-pressure ways to get some relief, understanding, and connection without having to make a big decision.
  • Emotional First Aid Course
    Short, practical tools to help calm grief, anger, and overwhelm when things spike.

  • Self-Test Results & Email Guidance
    Your emotional recovery self-test plus a simple explanation of where you are in the process.

  • Community Forum & Monthly Support Group
    A quiet online space and a monthly live call where you can listen, learn, and share when you’re ready.

For many people, this is enough for now. You’re always welcome to stay at this level as long as you need.

I think I might want a bit more guidance or structure →

-

Phoenix Academy

More guidance and structure using proven information tools in a large group format

Phoenix Academy is a good fit if you are looking for an affordable group program.
  • Phoenix Academy Course

    Guided lessons and exercises to help you move through the toughest emotional phases with more support.

  • The Rebuild + Digital Workbook-Style Exercises (Clarity)

    Inside Phoenix, you’ll get teaching and practical exercises that walk you step-by-step through the RIFT process.

  • Weekly Support Group & Forum Access (Community)

    Stay connected with others while you work the material, so you’re not going through it alone.

Some people stay with Phoenix and the Support Group for a long time. Others eventually decide they want the small group, highly interactive environment of the 10-week Workshop.

I think I might need the deepest live support →

-

Workshop

Our deepest level of group support with live teaching, structure, and a small community walking beside yyou.

The Workshop is for people who are ready to make this a priority for a season — to show up weekly, be part of a small cohort, and walk through a proven process together.
  • Live Weekly Classes & In-Class Emotional Work

    10 weeks of live teaching, exercises, and support as you move through grief, anger, identity, and rebuilding.

  • Bruce Fisher’s Book & Printed Workbook

    The classic Rebuilding roadmap plus a printed workbook that puts the entire process into a clear, structured path.

  • Weekly Live Meetings & Calling Circle

    Small-group conversations and a calling circle where you stay connected with a handful of people who truly understand

The Rebuilders Workshop is our flagship program that has a 40 year history, and has helped more than 100,000 people. This proven process is transformational.

We guarantee it.

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Introducing...

Rebuilders is based on more than 40 years of work helping people rebuild after divorce and relationship breakups. The original Rebuilders program was created by Dr. Bruce Fisher, a divorce therapist and author who realized that traditional therapy often wasn’t enough on its own.

Since then, the program has evolved and expanded, but the heart remains the same:

  • People heal best in community, not in isolation.

  • Recovery isn’t just about “moving on” — it’s about rebuilding your identity, your confidence, and your ability to love again.

  • You deserve tools, structure, and support that actually match what you’re going through.

Today, our team of facilitators and coaches continues that work through live groups, online programs, and resources designed specifically for the emotional impact of divorce.

As Seen On

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Frequently Asked Questions

What if my scores look really low? Does that mean something is wrong with me?

Not at all. Low scores usually reflect how much you’ve been carrying — not who you are as a person. Most people who take this self-test are in the middle of something painful and confusing. This is simply a snapshot that helps you understand where you are, not a label or a judgment.

I feel like I should be further along. Is this normal?

Yes. Healing after a relationship ends is rarely linear. It often takes longer than people expect, especially when the breakup was unwanted, complicated, or tied to years of shared life. You’re not behind — you’re in the middle of a process that many people go through.

Do I have to buy anything or join a program?

No. Everything on this page is here to give you clarity and support, whether you choose to work with us or not. Many people start with free resources and only explore programs later when they feel ready.

What’s the difference between the Foundations tools, the Phoenix Academy, and the Workshop?

Foundations gives you immediate relief and a sense of direction.

Phoenix helps you build real momentum and understand yourself on a deeper level.

The Workshop is a guided, step-by-step rebuilding process with a live community.

Each level is simply a different layer of support — you choose what fits your needs right now.

Is this therapy?

No. Rebuilders is not therapy and doesn’t replace working with a therapist. But it is a structured, research-based emotional recovery program created specifically for people navigating the end of a relationship. Many therapists refer their clients to us because we fill a gap that traditional therapy doesn’t always cover.

What if I’m not ready to join anything?

That’s completely okay. Most people begin by reading their results, exploring the free tools, or sitting with the insights for a bit. There’s no pressure. When you are ready, the options will still be here.

What if I’m embarrassed by my scores?

Almost everyone feels that way at first. Shame shows up a lot during divorce or separation. But the truth is: your scores don’t say anything about your worth or your strength. They reflect exhaustion, heartbreak, and the weight of trying to hold it all together — which is incredibly human.

How do I know which program is right for me?

A simple rule of thumb:

If you need immediate relief, start with the Foundations tools.

If you want steady progress and a clear path forward, Phoenix is typically the best fit.

If you want comprehensive change and a community walking with you, the Workshop is the most supportive environment.

There’s no wrong choice — each meets a different level of need.

What if I can’t afford the Workshop?

You’re not alone. Many people begin with Phoenix because it’s more affordable and still gives them structure, insight, and support. You can always step into the Workshop later, when life and finances settle.

I’m overwhelmed. What’s the simplest next step?

Take a breath and start small.

Most people begin with the free Emotional First Aid tools or the Free Community Forum.

Small steps count. You don’t have to decide anything big today.

Foundations

YOU ARE HERE

Emotional First Aid Course

 

Emotional Recovery Scorecard (ERS)

 

Divorce Support Community

 

Monthly Support Group Meeting

 
Free

Phoenix Academy

Start Immediately.

Emotional First Aid Course

 

ERS + Custom Recovery Plan

 

Divorce Support Community

 

Weekly Support Group Meeting for 6 Months ($282 Value)

 

Phoenix Course ($997 Value)

 
?

The Rebuild Book ($15 Value)

 

Digital Workbook ($15 Value)

 

Personalized Divorce Recovery Roadmap ($99 Value)

 

1 Hour of Private Coaching

 
$333
/ month
$197
/ month

for 3 months

30 Day Money Back Guarantee

Workshop

Transformational

Emotional First Aid Course

 

ERS + Custom Recovery Plan

 

Private Community Access

 

Weekly Support Group Meeting for 3 Months ($47/month Value)

 

Weekly LIVE Small Group Coaching ($1000 Value) 

 
?

Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends ($25 Value)

 

Rebuilders Workbook ($15 Value)

 

5 Courses:

Rumination Recovery Course ($197 Value)

Financial Freedom Course ($97 Value)

Graceful Divorce Parenting Course ($97 Value)

Navigating the Holidays and Get Togethers ($49 Value)

 

Guided Meditation & Visualization Pack ($49 Value)

 

2 30-Minute Private Coaching Sessions ($185 Value)

 

Proven Curriculum ($299 Value)

 

Peer Accountability Circle ($149 Value)

 

Certificate of Completion ($49 Value)

 

Graduate Program Access ($100 Value)

 

Divorce Recovery Journal ($15)

 
$833
/ month

For 3 months

Guaranteed!

Most Popular

Foundations

FREE

Emotional First Aid Course

 

Emotional Recovery Scorecard

 

Divorce Support Community

 

Monthly Support Group Meeting

 
Free

Phoenix Academy

Cost Effective

Emotional First Aid Course

 
?

Emotional Recovery Scorecard

 

Divorce Support Community

 

Weekly Support Group Meeting for 6 Months ($282 Value)

 

Phoenix Course ($997 Value)

 
?

The Rebuild Book ($15 Value)

 
?

Digital Workbook ($15 Value)

 

Personalized Divorce Recovery Roadmap ($99 Value)

 

1 Hour of Private Coaching

 
$949
$497

Save $911

30 Day Money Back Guarantee

Workshop

Transformation

Emotional First Aid Course

 

Emotional Recovery Scorecard

 

Private Workshop Community

 

Weekly Support Group Meeting for 3 Months ($141 Value)

 

Weekly LIVE Small Group Coaching ($2000 Value) 

 
?

Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends ($25 Value)

 

Rebuilders Workbook ($15 Value)

 

Personalized Divorce Recovery Roadmap ($99 Value)

 

5 Courses:

Rumination Recovery Course ($197 Value)

Financial Freedom Course ($97 Value)

Graceful Divorce Parenting Course ($97 Value)

Navigating the Holidays and Get Togethers ($49 Value)

 

2 30-Minute Private Coaching Sessions ($185)

 

Proven Curriculum ($299 Value)

 

Peer Accountability Circle ($149 Value)

 

Certificate of Completion ($49 Value)

 

Graduate Program Access ($100 Value)

 

Divorce Recovery Journal ($15)

 
$3,517
$2,497

Save $2368

Most Popular

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