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Rediscovering

Rediscovering Your Identity Post-Divorce

April 18, 20253 min read

Divorce can strip away the labels you leaned on—spouse, partner, planner—leaving you wondering who’s left. It’s not just a loss; it’s a chance to meet the real you. At Rebuilders International, we’ve guided thousands for over 40 years to rebuild their sense of self with our proven approach, backed by the Fisher Divorce Adjustment Scale (FDAS). This isn’t about reinventing yourself—it’s about uncovering the strength that’s always been there. Here’s how to begin.

What’s Clouding Your Sense of Self?

Divorce doesn’t just end a marriage—it blurs the edges of who you are. You might feel caught between old roles and an unknown future, and “be yourself” sounds empty when you’re not sure who that is. Our method shows that rediscovering your identity starts with facing those questions head-on. The FDAS, with its .93 reliability, proves that active steps toward self-awareness bring clarity. Let’s dive into how to find your way.

Your Rebuilders Roadmap: 5 Steps to Reclaim You

These tools, drawn from our 10-week workshop, help you rebuild your identity with confidence, grounded in authenticity:

  1. Pinpoint What’s Shifted
    Knowing what’s changed clears the fog. Our Empowerment Triangle—caring, vulnerability, assertiveness—lets you name it: “I don’t know who I am alone.” A group member said this felt like “turning on a light.” Try it: write one thing you feel you’ve lost. It’s like our grief work, making room for who you’re becoming.

  2. Anchor in Your Value
    Divorce can make you doubt your worth. We say you’re a “gem,” whole right now. Start this habit: each day, tell yourself, “I am enough.” A client in our support group said it shifted her from shame to pride. This self-worth practice, tied to our identity tools, reminds you that you’re enough, no matter what.

  3. Check Your Inner Compass
    Feeling lost often ties to deeper doubts. Our free self-test takes 10 minutes and shows your self-worth score—low numbers just mean you’re starting. A man saw his and said, “I’m not broken, just growing.” This step, like our RIFT framework’s identity phase, helps you focus on what needs rebuilding.

  4. Rediscover a Past Joy
    Your identity lives in what lights you up. Pick one thing you once loved—maybe painting, hiking, or cooking—and try it this week. Our program’s challenge behaviors show action sparks clarity. A woman said restarting yoga felt like “coming home.” Choose one small act—it’s a clue to who you are.

  5. Tap Our Circle
    You’re not alone in this search. Our online groups connect you with others finding themselves—like how to own a room without a plus-one. One member found confidence sharing stories with the group. Swap a win, hear a tip, and feel your strength grow. Our tools show connection sharpens your sense of self.

A You That Feels Whole

Rediscovering your identity post-divorce is about peeling back layers to find the real you, not building a new one from scratch. Our structured approach has empowered thousands since 1974, with workshop completers since 2021 showing stronger self-worth via FDAS scores. You can uncover your truth too, one bold step at a time.

Ready for Support?

This journey’s messy, but our programs—online, in-person, or self-paced—offer tools and a community to guide you. Visit our homepage or book a free clarity call. Prefer a light start? Join our free support group Tuesdays online.

You’re Already There

You’re more than what you’ve lost. What’s one small way you’ll reconnect with yourself today? Share below—we’re rooting for you!

blog author image

Nick Meima

Expert Divorce Coach, Divorce Recovery Group Facilitator

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Divorce Support & Recovery

Welcome to the #1 most comprehensive divorce recovery program in the world.

Does the Rebuilders

System Really Work?

Below you’ll see that the Rebuilders International system really works, why it is unique, and what we do. We will let this information stand for itself! And yes, of course results will vary but with only a few hours a week you can have a life changing experience.

The Rebuilders Background:

40 Years Of Changing People's Lives.

Meet Dr. Bruce Fisher

The founder of the Rebuilders program was Dr. Bruce Fisher (1931-1998). He was born in Iowa but spent most of his adult life in Boulder, Colorado. He was a popular divorce therapist, author, teach and a Clinical Member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. As he worked with clients dealing with divorce he realized that traditional therapy didn’t work efficiently.

He began working with his clients in groups and eventually found that there are 19 “steps” that people must work through to effectively “Rebuild” their lives. From this work he wrote the book “Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends.” We still use this book as a reference in our classes. Since he wrote the book over 30 years ago we have learned a lot and the program has evolved considerably. Now we find that there are more “steps” and that there are some elements that Dr. Fisher wasn’t aware of or misunderstood. However, he still created a powerful foundation for the program that we run today.

See The Data...

"I’m so thankful to have had the opportunity to have taken this journey with you and the class. It’s been very mind blowing and a real eye opener. It changed my life."

Mike

How our program works...

Head

Your thinking, mindset, beliefs, and values all influence how you respond to the traumatic experience of divorce. We show you how to step outside of the rumination about the past. Learn to step outside of the normal traps that keep people stuck thinking about the past.

Heart

Many people suppress, depress, or repress their feelings. Divorce brings so many “difficult” feelings. We give you tools to work through them, use them, and feel the “good” feelings again -like HAPPINESS, JOY, AND LOVE.

Identity

In marriages people “lose” themselves. When the marriage ends they don’t know who they are as a single person. We help you connect with yourself so that you can be comfortable being alone in your own skin.

The Program Works Regardless of Your Situation!

Considering Divorce?

Learn what you can do find the best path forward

It is a very difficult time in your life when you are facing the possibility of divorce. We offer a wide variety of tools, information and personal coaching to help you.

In the Divorce Process?

Divorce Resources – Support for All Stages of Divorce

When you are dealing with divorce there is a lot going on. There are legal issues, financial issues, emotional issues, parenting issues and more. When faced with all of these pressures we see that people that pay attention to the emotional effect of divorce are better able to navigate everything else much better.

Divorced?

The Papers are signed...

Whether you are recently divorced or it has been years, the wounds from divorce are real. Time does not heal all wounds, it just scabs over them. So if you are ready to learn more about what you can do to HEAL then click below.

Get guidance on how to best recover during this very challenging time in your life.

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Copyright © 2025 Rebuilders International, LLC, All rights reserved.

Copyright © 2025 Rebuilders International, LLC, All rights reserved.