
Still loving your ex-husband doesn’t make you foolish. It makes you human.
Maybe you didn’t want the divorce. Maybe you were blindsided. Or maybe you agreed to it but didn’t expect the grief to hit this hard. Whatever your story, if you’re here thinking, “I still love my ex-husband… So how do I move on?” — know this:
You are not alone.
Your feelings are valid.
And healing is still possible—even when love lingers.
In this guide, we’ll explore:
Why you still love him
How to sit with emotional pain without being consumed by it
What not to do when you feel stuck in love
Gentle steps to emotionally detach and reclaim yourself
Where to find support that truly understands
You don’t need to erase your love to begin healing. Let’s honor it—without letting it hold you back.
Sometimes the pain isn’t just about loss—it’s about powerlessness. If you didn’t choose the divorce, it can feel like your heart was dragged behind someone else’s decision.
You’re mourning not just what was, but what could have been—a future you were still invested in.
Even if the relationship was painful or unbalanced, emotional bonds—especially after years together—run deep. You may be experiencing:
Nostalgia for the good moments
Trauma bonding if the relationship involved emotional highs and lows
Genuine enduring love, where you still see the good in him
Let go of the idea that “I should be over this by now.” You don’t heal on anyone’s timeline.
Feelings don’t follow logic. You can know someone isn’t right for you and still love them. You can recognize the toxicity and still miss the touch.
“You can love someone and still decide they are not right for your life.” – Unknown
Letting go isn’t about denying love. It’s about choosing peace over attachment.
It’s tempting to minimize your feelings or shame yourself for still being in love. But pushing those emotions down won’t help. In fact, it can prolong your pain.
Grief over a divorce—especially one from someone you still love—is complex. It includes:
Emotional longing
Identity confusion
Even physical symptoms like exhaustion, nausea, and insomnia
According to the APA, emotional recovery from divorce typically takes 1–2 years, depending on the depth of the relationship.
You’re not just grieving a person—you’re grieving:
Future holidays you imagined
Growing old together
The inside jokes, routines, shared history
This kind of loss deserves full grief. It’s okay to:
Cry daily
Talk to the version of him that lives in your head
Miss him and still not want him back
Try the "Unsent Letter" exercise:
Write a letter to your ex as if you could say anything.
Say what hurt. Say what you miss. Say goodbye.
Then burn it, shred it, or save it—but don’t send it.
Also consider:
Guided meditations for heartbreak
Crying in the shower (it’s a safe, private space)
Daily journaling prompts like:
“Today, I wish I could tell him…”
“Loving him taught me…”
Every time you text, check his social, or ask “Can we talk?”, you're reopening a scab that’s trying to heal.
Emotional relapses are normal—but giving in to them can prolong the grief.
Set limits:
Block or mute him temporarily if needed
Ask a friend to help you stay accountable
Remember that no new conversation will erase the old pain
Pushing feelings down often leads to:
Anxiety
Depression
Unexplained physical symptoms
Don’t feel weak for crying. Don’t feel crazy for missing him. Don’t drown your pain in alcohol, rebound flings, or overworking.
What’s not expressed will eventually demand your attention.
Hope can be comforting—but also dangerous. Holding onto false hope can keep you stuck in a fantasy.
Instead, try Radical Acceptance — a concept from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT):
“This is happening. I don’t have to like it. But I accept that I cannot change it.”
Acceptance isn’t defeat. It’s the first breath of freedom.
If you still have contact (e.g., co-parenting), shift how you engage:
Keep conversations transactional, not emotional
Don’t seek validation or flirtation
Avoid sharing your feelings unless it’s part of closure
You’re redefining the emotional contract. He is no longer your comfort zone.
It’s possible to:
Love him and leave him
Miss him and not go back
Remember the good and still choose yourself
“Healing after divorce from someone you love is like carrying two truths: I still love him. I know I must move on.”
All that love you have for him? Redirect it:
Nurture your body with good food, rest, and gentle movement
Take up a creative outlet (art, music, writing)
Practice self-talk that’s kind:
“I am worthy, even when I feel broken.”
“My love is not wasted—it was real, and so is my healing.”
Therapy isn’t just for the broken—it’s for the becoming.
A therapist gives you:
A container for your emotions
Tools to manage grief
A mirror for your worth when you forget it
Recommended expert: Kevin Van Liere
Sometimes the most healing words are:
“I’ve been there too.”
Find community through:
Facebook groups for women post-divorce
Local or virtual support groups
Podcasts like The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast
These spaces remind you: you’re not alone.
You are allowed to:
Miss him
Cry about him
Still feel love for him
AND
Set boundaries
Choose healing
Build a new life
Love doesn’t mean you wait. Love doesn’t mean you chase.
Love means honoring what was—and trusting that what’s next can still be beautiful.
You can give yourself closure. You can give yourself peace.

Where can I find highly rated divorce recovery programs? That question often arrives once separation feels real and you need practical help. Whether you search for "divorce recovery programs near me" or prefer online options, you want programs that fit your schedule and budget. This guide lists top national programs, explains what they offer, and gives clear steps to choose the right fit.
Quick shortlist: DivorceCare, Rebuilders International, Lilac Tree, Mid-Life Recovery, CirclesUp and several immersive retreats regularly receive strong reviews. These options range from peer-led support and skill-focused courses to therapist-led circles and intensive reset retreats. Typical price points go from free or low-cost monthly meetings to self-paced e-courses under $250, while multiweek guided programs commonly range from $300 to $1,200 depending on live coaching and in-person components. Before you decide, compare facilitator training, curriculum transparency, participant outcomes and whether the format matches your schedule and privacy needs.
Many programs offer free assessments or trial sessions so you can check fit without a long commitment. Read recent reviews, verify facilitator credentials and safety policies, and choose the format, online, in-person or hybrid, that matches your obligations and emotional needs.
Top options: National and local providers cover group support, skill-focused courses, therapist-led circles and immersive retreats. Each program typically targets different stages of separation and post-divorce rebuilding, so pick one aligned with your current needs.
How to vet: Verify facilitator qualifications, ask for a week-by-week syllabus and look for measurable outcomes or dated testimonials. Confirm safety plans, confidentiality rules and crisis procedures before you enroll.
Format matters: Online programs offer flexibility and niche cohorts, while in-person groups often produce stronger interpersonal bonds and local referrals. Hybrid models and private coaching combine convenience with depth when you need both.
Costs and coverage: Expect free to low-cost peer groups, e-courses commonly under $250 and multiweek guided programs in the $300 to $1,200 range; coaching is usually billed per session. Most nonclinical recovery programs are self-pay unless a licensed clinician provides billable therapy services.
Take action: Use directories such as DivorceCare.org, PsychologyToday, Meetup and local nonprofit listings, read recent reviews and schedule a 20–30 minute consult for a tailored recommendation. A short consult helps you weigh program style, timing and costs.
To answer the search where can i find highly rated divorce recovery programs, start with providers that publish facilitator bios, session outlines and participant feedback. The list below shows primary formats, who benefits most and what reviewers commonly praise so you can narrow choices before checking schedules and local availability.
DivorceCare: A 13-week, video-supported program run by thousands of local chapters, often hosted in churches or community centers. It works well for people seeking steady peer support and weekly structure with a Christian angle. Reviewers frequently note unreliable facilitation but broad local availability.
Rebuilders International, LLC: A transformational 10-week system that combines weekly group classes, bi-weekly online workshops, in-person seminars, private coaching and self-paced e-courses. It suits people who want a clear, time-limited roadmap with options for continued maintenance and alumni groups. The program offers a free emotional self-test and a 30-minute consult to help match you to the right format.
Lilac Tree: A nonprofit that pairs emotional recovery with legal and financial education through workshops and Divorce University courses. It is useful when you need practical guidance alongside group support. Local facilitators are often praised for attentive, personalized help.
Mid-Life Recovery: A membership platform offering courses, community forums and ongoing peer groups for adults navigating midlife change. It fits people rebuilding identity, career or relationships after separation. Members commonly cite steady peer connections and pragmatic modules.
CirclesUp: Therapist-led small groups and online circles that focus on deeper therapeutic work and clinical safety. These groups are a good choice when you want clinical facilitation and structured crisis plans. Feedback highlights professional guidance and careful moderation yet often therapists do not have personal experience with divorce
Immersive retreats: Weekend or weeklong programs that combine workshops, coaching and group work for concentrated progress. They require time away but can accelerate coping skills and clarity. Attendees report strong short-term gains and renewed focus after an intensive retreat.
High ratings usually come from consistent facilitator training, transparent curricula and dated participant testimonials. Reviews are a useful signal but should be weighed against verifiable results and facilitator credentials. Ask about session length, group size, maintenance groups and available coaching add-ons before you commit.
Start by checking who leads each program, what the syllabus covers and how organizers protect participants. Good providers publish facilitator bios, trauma-informed training details and a week-by-week outline. They also make refund, cancellation and safety policies easy to find so you understand financial and emotional risks up front.
Facilitator credentials: Check whether leaders are licensed clinicians, trained coaches or experienced peer facilitators and whether clinical supervision is available. Clinical oversight matters for trauma or mental-health concerns, while peer leaders often bring useful lived experience. Ask for CVs or training summaries when credentials are not clearly listed.
Trauma-informed training: Facilitators should know how to recognize triggers, de-escalate distress and provide appropriate referrals. That training lowers the risk of re-traumatization and supports safer group dynamics. If you have significant trauma history, ask how the program responds to crises during sessions.
Accreditation or affiliation: Partnerships with hospitals, universities or established nonprofits add external quality checks and credibility. Ask whether the program has formal affiliations or advisory boards that review curriculum and outcomes. Such links can matter when you want independent oversight.
Transparent syllabus: A week-by-week outline shows topics, homework and time commitment so you can plan childcare, work and other obligations. A clear syllabus also lets you compare programs on specific skills taught, like boundary-setting or co-parenting. If a provider won't share an outline, treat that as a warning sign.
Participant reviews and outcomes: Prefer dated testimonials, video stories or measurable outcomes over anonymous blurbs. Look for stories that match your situation, such as co-parenting improvements, regained confidence or better daily routines. Ask whether the program collects follow-up data and can share aggregated results.
Refund and safety policies: Money-back guarantees, clear confidentiality rules and survivor-support plans indicate ethical practice and readiness to handle crises. Confirm cancellation windows and what happens if a facilitator becomes unavailable mid-cohort. Programs that document these policies in writing make it easier to manage logistical and emotional risks.
Use this six-item checklist while scanning program pages or talking to coordinators. Record answers side by side to see strengths and trade-offs at a glance.
Facilitator qualifications and licensing. Confirm licenses, supervisory structures and public bios. If details are missing, ask for documentation or a brief call with the lead facilitator.
Session format, frequency and time commitment. Make sure session times match your work and childcare needs, and check how many weeks the program runs. Note whether sessions are live, recorded or asynchronous.
Cost transparency and any additional fees. Verify the full price, payment schedule and whether materials, retreats or coaching are extra. Ask about sliding-scale options, scholarships or employer assistance if cost is a concern.
Sample curriculum or week-by-week outline. Compare specific topics and homework so you know what skills you will learn. A clear outline helps you plan and set expectations for progress.
Participant testimonials with dates or video links. Prefer stories that include dates and measurable change rather than anonymous praise. Look for accounts that match your situation, such as co-parenting or rebuilding routines.
Guarantee, refund and safety policies. Confirm refund windows, cancellation rules and written confidentiality policies. Programs that publish these items are easier to work with when plans change.
Contact programs directly with specific questions such as whether facilitators are licensed, if the curriculum is trauma-informed and what the cancellation and refund policies are. Clear, direct answers show whether a provider is transparent and prepared. Use short email and phone scripts to speed comparisons and keep notes from each conversation.
Red flags: Watch for programs that provide no facilitator information, promise guaranteed "fixes" or hide fees. Pressure to reconcile when you asked for recovery or refusal to address safety concerns are serious warning signs. If you spot multiple red flags, skip that provider and move on.
Short scripts: For email, ask for facilitator training, a sample week-by-week outline and confidentiality policies, and whether a trial or brief consult is available. For calls, ask who will lead the group and whether you can book a short consult or attend a trial session. Keep a short log of replies so you can compare transparency and responsiveness across providers.
Use the checklist and these scripts to narrow options to reputable providers such as local chapters, nonprofit offerings, therapist-led circles or established multi-format programs. Then compare delivery formats so you pick the one that best fits your life and availability.
Online courses and virtual groups often fit busy professionals and budget-conscious clients because they allow self-paced work and remove travel time. Virtual options also make it easier to join niche cohorts, such as parents, specific age groups or cultural groups. When you choose an online provider, confirm the platform's privacy protections, moderation standards and whether sessions are recorded or kept private.
Local support groups, community workshops and retreats provide more in-person connection, immediate referrals to local therapists and attorneys and stronger opportunities for role-play or hands-on practice. In-person settings can help when you need visible accountability and direct local resources, so check meeting times, childcare availability, location and whether the group is secular or faith-based. Retreats require a larger upfront investment but can produce concentrated progress if you can take focused time away.
Hybrid programs combine self-paced modules with live sessions and work well when you need structure plus periodic human feedback. Private coaching or clinical therapy is recommended for high-need individuals facing complex financial, legal or safety issues, and hourly coaching fees vary by credentials. Group classes typically run six to 13 weeks and cost less than ongoing one-on-one work, so match format to your needs and budget before committing.
Rebuilders International offers a 10-week curriculum that blends weekly group classes, bi-weekly workshops, optional in-person seminars, private coaching add-ons and self-paced e-courses. Core classes focus on emotional stabilization, boundary setting, co-parenting strategies and practical life-skill rebuilding, while workshops deepen applied tools. The organization also runs maintenance groups and alumni cohorts in many locations to support longer-term accountability.
To explore Rebuilders, take the free emotional self-test, book a 30-minute consult to map recommended options and consider a trial week or a self-paced module backed by a money-back guarantee before committing to a full cohort. A simple booking script is "Hi, I'm interested in a 30-minute consult to see which program fits my situation." Expect a brief intake during the call, a recommended route, either group, coaching or courses, and clear answers about scheduling and costs so you leave with a concrete next step.
Costs vary with format and support level. Self-paced e-courses commonly run under $250, while structured 10 to 13 week programs typically cost $300 to $3,500 depending on live coaching, group size and any in-person components. Individual coaching rates range widely: newer coaches often start around $75 to $120 per hour while senior clinicians or specialty coaches can charge $150 to $300 or more per hour. Add-on materials, retreats and extended coaching are the main drivers of higher totals.
Enrollment is a short funnel. Start by shortlisting options, reviewing dates and facilitator bios and comparing recent testimonials and guarantees before you register or apply for sliding-scale assistance. Expect confirmation within 24 to 72 hours and a first session in one to 14 days depending on cohort start dates, and prepare children's ages and parenting schedules if you plan to join co-parenting or family-focused modules.
Most group-based recovery programs are self-pay unless a licensed clinician provides billable therapy services. Ask about sliding scale fees, scholarships, employer assistance and whether the program is eligible for HSA/FSA reimbursement. Always request refund and cancellation policies in writing and favor providers that offer trial options or clear guarantees if you are unsure.
Start with targeted directory searches so you don't waste time. Check DivorceCare.org for local chapters, browse Psychology Today group listings for therapist-led groups and scan Meetup for peer-run meetings; local nonprofit websites and church bulletins can also list low-cost options. Search Google with your city or ZIP plus phrases like "divorce recovery programs near me" or "online divorce recovery courses" to surface virtual and nearby choices, then confirm meeting times, format and facilitator credentials before you commit.
Follow this five-step enrollment plan to move from interest to action. Apply the six-point vetting checklist during step two so your shortlist is reliable and safe.
Shortlist three programs that match your schedule and format preferences. Limit the list to options you can realistically attend and afford.
Run the six-point checklist: facilitator training, safety/confidentiality, participant reviews, cost/guarantee, schedule/location and curriculum focus. Score each program on these items so comparisons are objective.
Contact each program with the scripted questions below by email or phone. Keep answers in a spreadsheet or notes so you can compare transparency and responsiveness.
Book a free consult or a trial week to observe the group dynamic. Use the session to assess facilitator style, group size and whether the material feels practical.
Pick a start date and commit to attending the first two to three sessions to evaluate fit. If the group isn't working, use your refund or trial policy to switch without losing money.
If safety is a concern, prioritize programs with explicit confidentiality and safety protocols and call local domestic violence hotlines for immediate help. Ask about private coaching or one-on-one triage if you need confidential, accelerated support. Do one small thing this week, such as making a call or sending an email from the scripts above, and schedule a trial or consult to start your recovery plan.
Finding highly rated divorce recovery programs comes down to evidence, fit and safety. Use the six-point checklist to compare providers, try a consult or trial session before you commit and choose the format that best fits your life stage and needs. For additional reading on recommended options and widely reviewed support groups, see curated guides to the best divorce support groups.
