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divorce at 40

Starting Over After Divorce at 40: A Fresh Start Awaits

June 17, 20254 min read

Hitting divorce at 40 can feel like a curveball—maybe you thought you’d be settled by now, but here you are, facing a new beginning. Whether it’s divorce in your 40s or even divorce at 45, starting over after a big life change at this age can bring a mix of emotions: uncertainty, fear, but also hope. At Rebuilders International, we’ve seen folks turn starting over after divorce at 40 into a chance to thrive, and we’re here to help you do the same. This page shares real tips on how to move on after divorce at 40 and how to survive divorce at 40, so you can build a life that feels right for you.

Facing the Shift at 40

Divorce at 40 often comes with unique challenges. You might be juggling kids, a career, or financial responsibilities, making starting over after divorce at 40 feel overwhelming. But it’s also a time when you’ve got wisdom and experience to lean on. Maybe you’re wondering, “How do I even begin?” The first step is giving yourself grace—let the dust settle and know it’s okay to feel a little lost right now.

At Rebuilders, we’ve found that many in their 40s find strength in small wins, like setting a new routine or reconnecting with old passions. Our community members often say the shift gets easier with support. Check out our Virtual (Zoom) Classes—starting every 2-3 weeks—to connect with others who get what you’re going through.

Want to rebuild every part of your life after divorce? Dive into our main page, Post-Divorce Life: A Complete Guide, for a full plan to move forward.

Practical Steps to Move On

Getting Your Finances in Check

How to survive divorce at 40 starts with figuring out your money situation. After a split, you might need to rethink your budget or adjust to a single income. Grab a notebook and list your expenses—then look for ways to save, like cutting a subscription or two. Rebuilders Workbook ($14.99) has practical templates to help you get a handle on things and feel more secure.

Rediscovering Your Passions

Starting over after divorce at 40 is a perfect time to chase what lights you up. Maybe you used to love painting or hiking—dust off those interests! Our community loves suggesting a “passion day” each week to try something new. It’s a small step that can bring big joy as you figure out how to move on after divorce at 40.

Building a New Routine

A solid routine can anchor you during this change. Start with basics—like a morning coffee ritual or a quick workout—to feel grounded. Rebuilders suggest adding one new habit at a time; it helps divorce in your 40s feel less chaotic. If you’re divorce at 45, this can be especially helpful as you balance other responsibilities.

Finding Support and Connection

Leaning on Others

You don’t have to go it alone. Friends, family, or even new connections can lift you up. Rebuilders’ Every Tuesday Night Support Group ($47/year) is a warm spot to share your story and hear from others facing starting over after divorce at 40. It’s amazing how much a chat can help.

Curious about dating again? Check out Dating After Separation for tips on stepping back into love.

Handling Co-Parenting

If kids are in the picture, divorce at 40 might mean co-parenting. Focus on keeping things steady for them—clear communication with your ex can make a difference. Rebuilders offer insights in our community programs to help you navigate this with confidence.

Overcoming the Tough Moments

Dealing with Doubts

It’s normal to wonder if starting over after divorce at 40 is worth it. Push back those doubts with small actions—like planning a weekend trip or learning a skill. Our Private Coaching (1:1 with a coach) can help you work through those feelings and find your footing.

Staying Positive

Divorce at 45 or any age in your 40s can test your spirit, but positivity grows with practice. Try jotting down three good things each day—it sounds simple, but it works. For more inspiration, our Self-Paced eCourse lets you explore positivity at your own speed.

Want to focus on joy? Dive into Happy Life After Divorce for more ideas.

Rebuilders Is Here for You

At Rebuilders International, we’ve got your back as you tackle starting over after divorce at 40. Our approach includes:

  • Real Support: Groups like our In-Person (Local) Classes starting every three months.

  • Hands-On Tools: The Rebuilders Workbook to guide your next steps.

  • Personal Help: Private Coaching to tailor your plan.

We’ve seen so many turn divorce in your 40s into a fresh, fulfilling chapter—your story can be next.

Your Next Move

Starting over after divorce at 40 is your chance to craft a life you love. With practical steps, support, and a positive mindset, you can thrive. Rebuilders is here to cheer you on every step of the way.

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Kevin Van Liere

Divorce Coach, CEO of Rebuilders International

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System Really Work?

Below you’ll see that the Rebuilders International system really works, why it is unique, and what we do. We will let this information stand for itself! And yes, of course results will vary but with only a few hours a week you can have a life changing experience.

The Rebuilders Background:

40 Years Of Changing People's Lives.

Meet Dr. Bruce Fisher

The founder of the Rebuilders program was Dr. Bruce Fisher (1931-1998). He was born in Iowa but spent most of his adult life in Boulder, Colorado. He was a popular divorce therapist, author, teach and a Clinical Member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. As he worked with clients dealing with divorce he realized that traditional therapy didn’t work efficiently.

He began working with his clients in groups and eventually found that there are 19 “steps” that people must work through to effectively “Rebuild” their lives. From this work he wrote the book “Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends.” We still use this book as a reference in our classes. Since he wrote the book over 30 years ago we have learned a lot and the program has evolved considerably. Now we find that there are more “steps” and that there are some elements that Dr. Fisher wasn’t aware of or misunderstood. However, he still created a powerful foundation for the program that we run today.

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"I’m so thankful to have had the opportunity to have taken this journey with you and the class. It’s been very mind blowing and a real eye opener. It changed my life."

Mike

How our program works...

Head

Your thinking, mindset, beliefs, and values all influence how you respond to the traumatic experience of divorce. We show you how to step outside of the rumination about the past. Learn to step outside of the normal traps that keep people stuck thinking about the past.

Heart

Many people suppress, depress, or repress their feelings. Divorce brings so many “difficult” feelings. We give you tools to work through them, use them, and feel the “good” feelings again -like HAPPINESS, JOY, AND LOVE.

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In marriages people “lose” themselves. When the marriage ends they don’t know who they are as a single person. We help you connect with yourself so that you can be comfortable being alone in your own skin.

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The Papers are signed...

Whether you are recently divorced or it has been years, the wounds from divorce are real. Time does not heal all wounds, it just scabs over them. So if you are ready to learn more about what you can do to HEAL then click below.

Get guidance on how to best recover during this very challenging time in your life.

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