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Divorce Jokes

Divorce Jokes:
Q: Why is divorce so expensive? A: Because it’s worth it.
Q. What’s the difference between getting a divorce and getting circumcised? A. When you get a divorce, you get rid of the whole prick.
Q: Why is marriage not a word? A: It’s a life sentence!
Q: If marriage is grand what is divorce? A: Ten grand!
Q: How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, the sockets go with the house.
Q: What should you do after a man steals your wife? A: Let him keep her!
Q: How do you know your wife is a good housekeeper? A: After the divorce she keeps the house!
Q: What happens if you miss your Ex-Wife? A: Get better aim!
Q: Why do most men hate getting married by a Judge? A: Because they should have asked for a jury!
Q: Have you heard about the divorce diet? A: After signing on the dotted line and you lose 200 pounds of dead weight.
Q: What is Alimony? A: The screwing you get for the screwing you got!
Q: Have you heard of the new divorced Barbie doll? A: She comes with all of Ken’s stuff!
Q: Why did the woman want a divorce on the grounds of religious differences? A: He thought he was God and she didn’t!
Q: How can you tell if a woman is divorced? A: She’s jumping for joy.
Q: Why is marriage a three ring circus A: An engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffer-ring!
Q: What are the two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman? A: Before marriage and after marriage!
Q: Why were hurricanes usually named after women? A: Because when they arrive, they’re wet and wild,but when they go, they take your house and car.
Q: What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground? A: Shoot him again!

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